My childhood full of Fear – What I did to Overcome & How I got my Confidence Back – 2/1/23

I hope everyone is doing well!

I realize that the fear and continued comments from my mother, “Don’t do this – don’t do that because this bad thing will happen” or my father, “Don’t touch this or don’t say that, be quiet or I will spank you!” Then at school I tried to hide, but I was an easy target for those bullies. Through the years I held a lot in and went through a difficult time to come out of my shell.

For a long time I never stood up for myself, didn’t know how to keep a relationship and worked hard to get noticed even to the point of burn out -not speaking up or saying no, out of fear. I couldn’t say anything and I was so upset with myself for allowing others to take advantage. Then, in college part of the required coursework was to take a speech class. I was so uncomfortable to hear the professor say we were to give a speech each week. I recall grabbing the podium tight looking down giving my first required speech in class. I knew then this was therapeutic. I had to open up, feel those feelings of fear, shyness and terror that everyone was looking and talking about me. I had nowhere to hide. I was terrible at it, but I did it. After I practiced over and over to the point that I was not shaking and I memorized what I was going to say without feeling fear – looking at the mirror. In the classroom others would also mention feeling emotional and terrorized to be up at the podium. And I learned the following:

  1. Be Open
  2. Go through the emotions and feel them to let go
  3. Find people that can relate, if you can’t, you will – support each other, talk about it
  4. Practice – do it over and over again until you are comfortable
  5. Find a pattern that feels stable and repeat
  6. Take more classes or join a group

Not only did I do well at the end of the semester with a B semester grade, I went on to take communication classes despite they weren’t required for my personal development. I put myself in situations and contributed with feedback at work because I knew that others would benefit from my experience. To this day I still have a little bit of anxiety, but I think back at where I was and the effort I put in that brought me to this point of taking my power back of confidence and stability. After doing the work I’m rocking these interviews now. All the Best!

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