Feeling Comfortable in my Own Skin – Stepping Out w/o Fear

Growing up (we) my family and I didn’t have much. My siblings and I were bullied, and I didn’t have a lot of friends because I was too afraid to be hurt by anyone else. I didn’t trust anyone, and I kept quiet to not attract any attention to myself. I never knew why I (we) were a target to anyone as kids. I was afraid of everything and everyone. In high school the couple friends I had didn’t like me, not sure why. I wanted to have friends and belong. Thank God for college. It gave me an opportunity to grow personally. I took additional courses in speech and communication to be able to gain experience in speaking with others and maintain a conversation. Love was a constant disappointment for me, both in personal relationships and with my family. There was a sudden glimpse of confidence as a college student. I met a lot of people, but I never got close to any just out of fear. That was my own decision. College gave me the opportunity to view things from a different perspective and work on myself. I wanted to belong, find a tribe, and never thought that I still had a lot to learn and go through. I didn’t know that my toughest tests would be my work experiences and I had yet to learn tough lessons in the environment. It took a lot of energy and guts to take a leap of faith, but just to take two steps back at the positions I accepted. People I encountered had their own agenda and did the minimum, but I have to give them credit they were ambitious to succeed. I wasn’t ambitious…Bad things happen to good people, and I learned to push back with truth and confidence. Throughout my life I learned valuable lessons and took the good and learned from the bad, move on – I now know what I don’t want to do or be.  I am blessed for the experiences because I was able to find myself, what I want, capable of, know my worth and stopped accepting any less. I am valuable. The toxic cycle has stopped. I have awakened. 

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

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