YoungHeart1980!

I hope everyone is doing okay. I have to start by shouting, “I did it.” As I write my entry I am blessed, God is great! He heard my prayers and cries. He pushed me through and handed down the miracle and win for me. I have tears as I write ✍️ my journal 📓 entry tonight. I am taking large, 😮‍💨 deep breaths. It’s unbelievable the amount of careless and egos here, working, fighting, and dealing with things on my own with no internal support. This whole department culture sucks. The central offices are really not to blame for the shortage of support to us. This department has careless and inexperienced people that just don’t think they are responsible for anything.

“DD” as I call him is at the top, the most revengeful. Not only has he left me to my own failure 😣, but also my boss. I didn’t fail, he threw me to the wolves and they ended up being my friends, LOL!😝 My boss doesn’t like to “rock the boat,” so he stayed away from it all. “DD” has been neglectful and careless with these accounts for 3 years leading to a $3M deficit. 💸 For his carelessness it allowed me to win and the only assistance I got was from external constituents. They guided me through the whole process at forms and workflows I’m not an expert at. It’s not solely the central office that has let things fall apart, it’s because no one from our department cared to respond to anyone. “DD” ignored me throughout this process completely when I needed him the most.

How or what should I ask if I have not been trained? The central offices gave me a 5-minute training as I was going through the compliance forms and education of the set up process of the contract and get approval for up-front cash to meet our payroll and operating costs. Yet “DD” takes my credit wherever possible, of course, like I am not aware. It’s easy to be angry 😤 and can easily hate, but I can’t.

I believe in God and letting go, no forgiveness needed because I wasn’t hurt 😢 by it. I pushed through and I am better for it and I am 💪 stronger and has increased my faith and strength by my win. All the Best!