YoungHeart1980!

I hope everyone is doing okay. I wasn’t prepared for the bomb that dropped, and I almost fell off my chair, sitting down. Thinking back, I didn’t really have to think of how fast and how much is coming across my desk. What is going on? I have never had this happen in my career, ever! This is one of those times I know I’m the only one going through situation like this. Why me? I don’t have time to think how this could’ve happened. I’m here now and I have no other choice but to take the reins because there is no one else. It’s my job to stay ahead and not the drop the ball on juggling the multiple duties simultaneously. No time to complain or react.

Investigator #5 as I’ll call her once again dropped a bomb on me. She sent me an email today of a contract that was awarded to her from April 2023 that just recently ended on August 31, 2024, two weeks ago! Without thinking, I research everywhere I could to be sure I didn’t miss anything! I couldn’t have?! No way! I sent it to the central office and there it is, they dropped the ball, never processed the contract and set up the project and the budget. Now, I’m once again under pressure and out of time. I’ve been working so hard to get through all this hot mess I feel like I’m being punished and I’m not quite sure for what? Never has my ability, knowledge, skill, and understanding has ever been tested like now. I have been put on the spotlight that has always made me uncomfortable with making decisions that could either make or break me. I used to dread be put on the spotlight and now I have no other choice but to take risks.

I had no other choice, or time just took the plunge without fear and got my hands dirty and was direct with others. I guess that pressure and stress gave me the confidence and took steps and made decisions on my own to demand on what I was now a part of that wasn’t my doing. I had to be careful because I have a tendency to lose myself in my work and feeling drained and for no one to even thank me for it. I am surviving, floating on the surface, without tears because I left those back ten years ago. I am alone in this as usual even from the beginning. The only difference now is that I know who is and who I can trust. All the Best!