YoungHeart1980!

Hello, hope everyone is doing okay. I had to let it all out and fall prey to vulnerability. After fighting so long and looking out for myself I trusted for the first time and my life was in his hands.

I got a call from my doctor, I will need surgery, but first see the cardiologist, hematologist, the PCP. Huh? What? Wait! I broke down. it’s as if I held on to emotions for so long trying different avenues to avoid surgery. I felt defeated, enraged and engulfed in tears. I dug my face on to my hubby’s chest. The longest cry in so many years. I thought of all the challenges after the surgery. I don’t like to rely on anyone because I didn’t need to or have to. I have a tough time trusting. There are very few people that I trust to help in my circle. I won’t be able to do much, but I will have some time to write and breathe a little.

I will be on reduced pay which I honestly can say it’s okay. My health comes first. The employer hasn’t provided much information or support and when the department decided to assist it was too late, I had notified HR of my status. I was initially brushed off by my department, but it didn’t matter if they let me go, I am able to move on and it might have been a good thing. I have to focus on me. I give a lot of myself, and it’s no longer fair.

Later, I’ll have to evaluate and make a decision of how I’ve been treated thus far and whether to continue in their storm or re-direct my focus elsewhere. All the Best!