YoungHeart1980!

I hope everyone is doing okay. I’m back and it feels good to get back to writing after this awful storm in Houston.

But I’m bored. Apathy for this job. I’m tired, my energy is being depleted. I’m not upset about it, but ready to jump out of this box. There is no movement, no goal, no idea of where we’re headed. A long delay and nowhere up to PAR with other organizations that I have worked for. I went from one extreme of working long hours to nearly nothing, but hoping for moderation.

I’m not using my skillset. I’m protecting my energy because it’s being drained to nothing, only worry. I’m not in a position that I feel is for my best good! I can’t let negative thoughts cripple me. This is a huge disruption to my personal success at this job. I see that she’s got an evil eye and it’s not just geared toward me, that’s just who she is.

I had to take a walk today, was pissed. I needed to breath at what is happening. I came back to think of where to look to find what I needed. After 20 minutes of looking again I got a hit. I take one step forward and two back. So much imbalance in my head and scattered brain. I can spend hours on one minuscule task to submit a credit invoice. What used to take me 5 minutes in the past, takes one week here. I gave up today at 6:15pm. I’m getting eatin’ alive! Given hints and left searching for my soul. Ah! I’m not being dramatic either.

One thing I am consisting at, is choosing jobs that need a lot clean up. LOL! My inspiration and motivation are low! I’m praying for a breakthrough. All the best!